This is my mindfulness journey. This is for week 2, I will start this August 15-21 – Keeping the Body in Mind. I did last weeks meditations, daily and have a new love for food, drinks, got oit of my confort zone and changed seats and feel I am becoming more mindful in my day to day life.
To cultivate mindfulness truly, I need to become fully integrated with my body once more. My next step is to deepen my capacity to see my mind’s reactivity by learning to pay mindful attention to my body. Here, I can feel the first stirrings of emotionally charged thoughts.
When I learn to “read” and understand the messages from my body, I will first have to learn to pay attention, in detail, to those parts of my body that are the source of the signals.
The Body Scan Meditation:
This is a beautiful meditation that reintegrates my mind and body into a powerful and seamless whole.
It does so by inviting me to move my attention around my body, holding each region center-stage in a nonjudgmental awareness for a while, before disengaging that attention and shifting the spotlight on to the next region, until I’ve “scanned” my whole body. As I do this, I am developing a special flavor of awareness, one that’s characterized by a sense of gentleness and curiosity.
It is best to set aside fifteen minutes a day at two of these times and dedicate them solely to this meditation, aiming to meditate twelve complete Body Scsns during this week. If you haven’t already, choose a special place for you to meditate, somewhere quiet with no distractions.
There are always days that I will not want to meditate or think I have no time to meditate. Meditation nourishes me and on these days is when I NEED to meditate the most.
Meditation is not clearing the mind of all thoughts. My mind was built to think, so allow it to think. Meditation is me training my mind to pay attention, like going to the gym after a long time away. I am exercising a muscle that has been underused. Any mind-wandering, restlessness or boredom that arises can be acknowledged as allies of my attention training. For the first time in years, I am noticing in real time how my mind creates tension in my body. Enjoy the process and be aware.
Let’s release some habits:
Take a fifteen-thirty minute walk, anywhere. No rush, aim to walk as mindfully as you can, focusing on your feet, your legs, your muscles. Pay attention to all the sounds, sights and smells. Stop and look upward, enjoy the walk and pay attention. This is right up my alley. I walk home every night 20-25 minutes. I sing with the birds, enjoy and look around. You will be amazed of all the things you have missed in your previous walks. This has been my way of destressing after a long day at work in downtown Toronto. Everyday, summer, fall, winter, spring and rain or shine with a side of snow.
Ten-Finger Gratitude Exercise:
Once a day I will bring my mind to ten things I am grateful for, counting them on my fingers and thumbs. This will bring awareness to the tiny things in my life everyday.
So, Mary Kay has been popping into my life this year in many different ways. So I have been contemplating becoming a Mary Kay consultant again. I was one a few years back and life got in the way. But, that is the amazing thing about Mary Kay, it is your own business and you can come and go and there is no judgments, no critizing, only welcoming arms by amazing women when you find you come back. So I am looking to my readers and what their thoughts are. I have pretty much already decided. Below is the benefits of being with Mary Kay.
With a desire to enrich women’s lives and a keen sense of business, Mary Kay Ash developed her dream company and set the example for others to follow.
On September 13th, 1978, Mary Kay Ash’s dream spread its wings in Canada. Our grand opening was celebrated with a ribbon cutting and tree planting ceremony attended by Mary Kay and her husband Mel Ash. Mary Kay Canada is the same age as me, we are the same age. 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
This is how a Mary Kay Consultants earn their money:
Parties/Classes…3-6 guests (Skin Care, Glamour, Body Care, Nails + Open Houses)
Average class $200 (low) – Average profit $80, after H.C.
Average facial $88 – 50% profit (no hostess credit given)
1 Hour = approx $40/hr
Reorders (our product is consumable)
Average customer reorders $200/yr (low)
50% profit
2 Classes/wk = approx 4 skin care customers/wk
4 x 50 weeks = 200 customers/yr x $200 = $20,000 profit
Dovetailing
Give a class to another consultant, she holds it but you earn 15% of retail sales (over $50)
CONSULTANT CAREER PATH
Senior Consultant
1 or 2 active team members
Earn a 4% commission on wholesale orders of personal team members paid monthly
Star Team Builder (wear your Mary Kay Red Jacket)
3 or 4 active team members
Earn a 4% commission on wholesale orders of personal team members
Team Leader (5 – 7 active team members)
Future Sales Director (8 or more active team members)
Earn 8% or 12% commission on wholesale orders of personal team members
Receive $50 team-building bonuses
Earn the Cash Compensation for a Car. 1 – 4 months to qualify – build your team to 14
Apply to become a Director-in Qualification with 10 active team members. 1 – 4 months to qualify – build your unit to 24 with the help of your team members
Independent Sales Director (24 or more team members)
Earn 9 – 13% unit commission/month
Receive a unit volume bonus of $700 or more
Receive a unit development bonus of $300/$500
Receive a $100 personal team-building bonus
Be eligible for Term Life Insurance Programs
Earn the use of a Career Car (Ford Focus, Edge, or Pink Cadillac
Independent National Sales Director
20 offspring Sales Directors
Earn 7 – 10% commissions on first-line, 4% on 2nd line, 2% on 3rd line
Drive the pink Cadillac of your choice
Family Benefit Program…Retirement Program
I know no other company that would advance your career path how and when you want to advance.
Tax Advantages
Your Starter Kit – $75 + $8.75 shipping
Automobile Expenses – gas, insurance, maintenance, registration, % of loan interest/lease and depreciation
Business Use of Home – % of mortgage interest/rent, taxes, insurance, utilities, maintenance & repairs
Office Equipment –desk, cabinets, storage, computer, blackberry, I phone, fax, TV, DVD, camera, etc.
Office Supplies, Postage – stationery, business cards, labels, file folders, binders, postage, wrapping paper, etc.
Other Supplies, Samples, Sales Aids – section 2 from MK, Q-tips, cotton pads, hair bands, baskets, bags, etc.
It’s Sunday night. A steaming plate of rice and sausages is set in front of me. Salivating with wide eyes I grab my fork and dive in. We all know how this will end. I will say to Shan while patting my tummy and undoing my top button, “Tomorrow I will start my healthy eating plans.” This scene raises a number of questions: Why can’t I resist the urge to inhale my meal like an out of control Cookie Monster bingeing on cookies? Even when my body is screaming “Enough—you’re killing me,” I will still reach for another cookie. When did I become so unconscious that my buffet gorge from the night before is a mere fog like hangover?
I am just plain food obsessed.
I don’t have to look far to prove this obsession. When I walk down any fast food-lined food court in Toronto and observe the unprecedented obesity. Look to our health crisis. Not only are millions of Canadians suffering from eating disorders, but the hospital hallways are lined with people with heart disease, cancer, thyroid disfunction and diabetes.
Why is something we deem so pleasurable causing so much harm? We could debate many arguments as to why we have developed unhealthy food relationships, reasons such as two working families, fast food biggie sizes, lack of exercise, technology, and inexpensive junk food. But at the root of the problem is that in our fast paced society we have forgotten how to slow down and eat mindfully.
When we regain consciousness and reconnect to Mother Earth the ugly side effects of our food obsession inevitably dissipate. Practice mindful eating. The results must surprise you.
We don’t have to be food obsessed. Let’s break the cycle. Doesn’t it make you want to go grab an apple and give it a try? Go on. I’m about to enjoy a berry experience myself.
Being conscious of eating makes you more healthy, and one way to encourage yourself to eat more mindfully is to keep a food diary. Without a record, it’s easy to overlook what you eat without noticing it. I have felt guity for a long time about my mediocre eating habits, and I wanted to eat more healthfully, plus I wanted to lose a few pounds without going on a diet. Making notes about the food I ate sounded easy enough, and I figured that, of all my various resolutions, this would be one of the easier ones to keep. I bought myself a little notebook.
It forces me to confront the true magnitude of my “junk food” habit. I’d pretended to myself that I indulged only occassionally, but in fact I ate a ton of junk food. I like eating junk food, because when I get hungry during the day, it is more convenient to grab something junk than to sit down to eat proper food. Junk food is a treat. This habit is a daily source of guilt and self-reproach. I am giving up junk food cold turkey and it will feel good to give it up. I’d thought of these snacks as treats and hadn’t realized how much “feeling bad” they’d generated feelings of guilt, self-neglect, and even embarrassment.
Examine your emotions. What am I feeling? Boredom, anxiety, anger, sadness? Am I really hungry? After all, I did have dinner a mere two hours ago? Looking at your mind from above it makes it easer to recognize unhealthy eating patterns and make changes. Before you steal from the cookie jar always ask yourself, does my body need nourishment or am I feeding my emotions?
Find a food you love and set the stage for success. A natural, colourful fruit is always a good first choice; an apple was my first. Now turn off all media, put your Samsung away, and no talking. It might be hard at first to bottle your urges for idle chatter, but be still, breathe deeply, and fight against it. Start with ten minutes.
Express gratitude. Resist the urge to bite into your apple. Take a moment to consider all the kindness that went into growing this apple. This may at first sound absurd but this practice develops your own loving kindness and gratitude. Think about the mother who raised the farmer who planted the apple tree. Think about the miraculous ecosystem. Consider the apple pickers, the supermarket workers. Honestly, we could go on forever and what you would ultimately discover is that the kindness of the entire universe is in this apple. Now that’s some food for thought, but don’t worry if you’re not there yet. Maybe just start by expressing gratitude that you are able to eat in peace and comfort. Say a silent thanks. I’ve noticed that expressing gratitude centers me in the present moment, negative emotions dissipate, and it reminds me not to take things for granted.
Savor the flavor. While this may seem like an eternity with your bowl of sweet raspberries on the counter taunting you, but in reality it’s only a mere minute or two; still, if you can, hold off long enough to closely observe your food. Feel the coolness of the apple, examine the deep red color, smell the sweetness. Allow your senses to explode. Okay, now we’re ready. Slowly take a juicy bite, roll the apple in your mouth, savor the sourness, play with the texture, and notice the intensity. Before you take another bite, chew slowly and completely before swallowing. Eat the entire apple this way:slowly, silently, mindfully.
Mindful eating naturally results in a love of healthy foods. It’s inevitable.
Build the mindful eating habit. We live in a busy world and there will always be days when we need to wolf down a slice of pizza on our lunch break, but consider practicing this technique once a week, and then once a day. Eventually, it will just become habit. You’ll become be present. However you should beware there are side effects of mindful eating, the fine print reads: You may develop a love of natural foods, feelings of satisfaction, a sudden desire to be active, an ability to recognize your body’s nourishment needs, weight loss, mood control, more energy, glowing skin, disease prevention, control over your emotions, living in the present moment, and quieting the mind.
Imagine the change we could invoke throughout world if everyone practiced mindful eating. It’s not too late to teach our children new habits. The positive transformation to our health care system, our own and our children’s health and wellness, and the entire animal kingdom is exciting and within grasp.
“Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke
When I was nine years old, I figured out how to get out of things, how to get attention from the adults in my life, unhealthy attention. It was a rainy Sunday morning and I was supposed to be getting ready for church, we were visiting my Grandma Horne. I began to obsess about how much time I spend at church and doing stuff I didn’t want to do in my then tiny life. As though by my own will, a heavy sensation of dread and nausea arose. I wasn’t aware of it at the time but my brain had said to my body, “Hey, if you feel sick, we can get out of this!” Unfortunately for me, this would happen many more times, well into my adult life.
Commitment equaling nausea coupled with a terrible fear of vomiting. Concerts, parties, sleep overs at friends’ houses—any situation that might be awkward or I wanted to get out of. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that it started affecting school, I could no longer hide it. I was unhappy and miserable. I was never taken to a doctor as a kid or adult nor have I been diagnosed with anything. I was brought up to be a good little girl and to keep my mom’s secrets, I was the keeper of family secrets. For years I hide it from people, pretended there was nothing wrong.
Anxiety is not the nerves you feel before a performance. It is not the quickening heart upon realizing you left the stove on at home. Anyone who says, “Just relax!” to a person who is experiencing anxiety or depression should know this; they just cannot. And don’t say it, it is annoying and fruatrating to the person dealing with anxiety and depression. Both are fuelled by worry. Not only about these new and disorienting sensations, but also of the thought “Will I be this way forever?”
Anxiety plays tricks on you. It tells you that everything you feel is serious. Depression paints everything in black and white. Together, they skew perceptions. One day I became truly convinced I was developing schizophrenia. It is in my family, I Googled “disturbing thoughts.” Thank goodness I stumbled upon a website called “Anxiety No More”, created by Paul David. http://anxietynomore.co.uk/
It summed up every symptom I had—racing and disturbing thoughts, dizziness, panic, depressed feelings, detached feelings, plus a myriad of others. Paul had suffered anxiety and came through completely unscathed. The answer was so beautiful and near unbelievable in its simplicity: “Stop fighting it. Let it come.” Wow, stop fighting it and let it come.
This was the first breakthrough for me in years of hidden pain and suffering. I became determined to learn as much as I could about the human brain; why we experience anxiety and depression. I learned that anxiety is a slow-to-evolve trait leftover from our prehistoric ancestors, so apparently our brains haven’t received the memo…..well at least mine didn’t, that the lions are no longer lurking behind bushes. Common brain, those are things I really need to know. 😉
And depression? In many cases it is the brain saying, “I can only handle so much! Bye! Peace Out Home Fry” and feelings are seemingly switched off—a defense mechanism. That is not to discredit cases of severe depression caused by other factors where medication is necessary, but knowing how easily and frequently anti-depressants are prescribed, one has to ask: at what cost exactly? Are we perhaps interfering with a natural defense process that might be best left to run its course, approached with patience instead of a ‘fighting’ attitude?
I have read alot of books over the years, surfed allot of websites and now I am meditating daily with soothing music and practicing breathing exercises. I am learning to let the panicked feelings come and go and over time they will lessen until I no longer anticipated them. Feelings do sometimes came back and I fell battered and worn, but hopeful.
But, still when the dark thoughts do seep in, slowly swelling in my mind. Heavy as wet towel and despite my best efforts, I am left in depression and want so terribly not to be. Sure, thoughts came with less urgency, but they are still there and I remained in a daze, as though I was swimming an inch away from reality. Disappearing in my own mind and thoughts, drowning.
When I decided this month to work on Being Mindful, I Googled and I am learning as much as I can read and I am learning that mindfulness can be the final stepping-stone on my path to healing. It was intuition that led me to the practice of mindfulness. My body, mind and soul knows how to heal itself, I just need to listen and pay attention.
It is my genuine wish that no one suffer needlessly as I do and as so many others do. My story was one of trial and error, one that has taken my whole life to figure out. I think if I had discovered mindfulness earlier, the road could have been a little shorter and a little less painful. Trust me when I say that I thought I would be trapped like that for the rest of my life. But I took the advice to sit it out, be patient, and not take everything my mind threw at me so seriously and not everything is written in stone. It takes time. Relapses happen, but you do heal.
Accept the uncertainty, open up to those close to you, and try to allow commotion to coexist with who you are. What do you have to lose, you are already suffering, frustrated and unhappy. And believe me when I say that despite how hopeless it may feel, you are still there—temporarily clouded, but there, waiting, waiting to meet yourself again.
“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child—our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I remember it clearly, the day it all began to click. People talk about epiphanies that changed their lives in an instant, and mine was no different.
I remember I was standing outside with some friends. I don’t recall what we were talking about, but I do recall listening to my friend before she blurted, “I hate when you do that, Vanessa!” Of course, I was confused, so I asked, “Do what?” She replied, “You stopped listening and now you’re thinking about the next thing you’re going to say.” In my confusion I turned to embarrassment. “No! I don’t do that…do I?” I looked at my friend standing next to me and she nodded in agreement. That moment changed my life. I’m not referring to the feeling of shame and embarrassment but I then realized how asleep/on autopilot I have been.
I began to discover how amazing I feft when I was mindful, I began to think, what is Being Vanessa, Being Mindful really about? For me being mindful created a heightened awareness of what I am doing in the moment, my thoughts as they arose, what actions I took as a result of my thoughts, and their impact of my thoughts and actions on others. As things happen and I maintain presence, I accept them without judgment. As I immerse myself in the moment, others are noticing. As they notice my presence, it creates gravity, drawing us closer together. As I become more present, I see others inviting me into interaction, because people want to be around others who are willing to invest time. As I begin to feel that pride, I outwardly express it and others notice. This encourages others to strive further through the very initiative I nurtured through my presence. Heightened appreciation adds color, depth, and richness to my everyday experiences. As I reflect, I savor, and as I savor, I become thankful. Wonderful, right?
Being Vanessa, Being Mindful, I am trying differenet exercises, meditations to help me become more mindful and to find which ones work best for me.
One of the simplest methods is to walk with no destination in mind. This could be done at a trip to the store, around your neighborhood, when you go for a hike or walk in the woods or even at work. Simply allow yourself to go wherever your mood takes you and surrender yourself to the flow. Walking allows you to see more of your surroundings, so take it in, but remind yourself as you walk: there is nowhere more important for you to be than right here, right now. Eat your food and consume your drink as if they were your last. Sure, dinner might be take out, but how would you eat that same meal if you knew it might be your last? Would you slow yourself down and savor it more? What would this do for your appreciation of what you consume. Another way of eating involves not taking a single bite or drink until you have silently thanked each and every individual responsible, from the farmer who cultivated the tealeaf, to the trucker who shipped it, to the grocer who placed it on the shelf. Once you ponder all the hands that work to provide you that opportunity, you begin to develop more appreciation for even the simplest of things.
Before bed, take fifteen minutes to sit in silent darkness. Take note of everything you experience, from the sound of a fan to the sensation of your backside against whatever you are sitting on. Breathe slowly and deeply, allowing yourself to let go and simply be. You’ll be amazed at how well you sleep after this!
These are a few tasks to help design and cultivate the act of being intentionally focused on the events of the moment as they unfold and to accept them without judgment. Becoming mindfully present is a miracle, but an attainable one, and one we can all experience, each and every day, surrounded by the ones we love.
“You start watching your breath and all your problems are solved. It is not like that at all. You are working with the heart of your experiences, learning to turn towards them, and that is difficult and can be uncomfortable.” ~Ed Halliwell
Can mindfulness be bad for you?
I only sit in meditation for twenty minutes daily (and a full hour on Sundays), but I carry its effects with me the rest of the time, elevated levels of awareness and all. This is not to say that I constantly float on a blissful cloud. In fact, this sudden increase in mindfulness, even for someone used to deep introspection and resolutely committed to lucidity, comes at a certain cost. What I hadn’t expected was the actual weight of mindfulness.
Two + Weeks into the daily practice of mindful meditation, I had to admit that it was not solely eliciting the deep serenity I had hoped for. In fact, I realized that in some ways, I actually felt less happy than before. I couldn’t precisely put my finger on it. All I knew was that things seemed heavier, more raw. How could that be? Wasn’t mindfulness supposed to help me transcend in life? What was I doing wrong? Was I the only one in that odd situation? I decided to do some research. It didn’t take long before I discovered evidence that mindfulness can indeed have “side effects.” A quick online search showed me that I’m actually in very good company. Mindfulness, and the practice of meditation, has reportedly entailed significant “downsides” for a number of enthusiasts.
We come to mindfulness in the hope that it will constitute the path to peacefulness, often unaware that this path is paved with cracked and bumpy stones. Only after stepping onto that road do you realize how uncomfortable the process can be. Just like therapy, meditating is difficult, sometimes painful. The first and most obvious reason is that sitting still, quieting the mind, and focusing on the breath presents a real challenge. Many beginners and non-beginners complain of an overwhelming restlessness or, on the contrary, of an irresistible tendency to fall asleep (I belong to the latter category, I always want to sleep, love sleep).
The second reason is that mindfulness has a way of annihilating our blissful ignorance. It offers an unexpected and unparalleled insight into our areas of vulnerability, the sides of us that we are not always prepared to welcome non-judgmentally. To get the most of it, one must recognize that the practice of mindfulness is dirty, hard work. Mindfulness can exacerbate a number of mental health conditions, bring back to the surface traumatic memories, or simply force you to deal with things that had conveniently been swept under the rug. Whatever your initial levels of stability or instability, a lot can emerge in the first stages of the regular practice of meditation. Ready or not, you have to deal with it. It is disconcerting at best. In my case, it was sometimes downright depressing. So if you strungling from depression, you should get professional advice on whether or not mindfulness is safe for you at this stage.
Picture a handful of Band-Aids applied to different spots on your body. Each Band-Aid conveniently covers an injury that you’re happy to ignore. Mindfulness is like peeling off the Band-Aids, one by one. It hurts, it is uncomfortable and difficult. Then you discover what’s under them: A bad cut here. A big bruise there. A papercut here. A bugbite there. The occasional infected wound. A few badly healed scars.
Mindfulness makes it hard to ignore that you are, under all those Band-Aids, actually hurting, or at least not entirely recovered. To add insult to the injury, mindfulness has a way of preventing you from applying new Band-Aids. Things that we considered pleasant, and that help us deal with life, lose their appeal once we become aware of their true purpose and associated costs.
We use, in our daily lives, an arsenal of strategies, often without knowing it: thinking patterns, daily habits, activities we view as pleasurable “add-ons,” such as eating, shopping, staring at a screen, and so on. We don’t perceive those “pursuits” as Band-Aids. Aren’t they the spice of life? The regular practice of meditation and a more mindful approach to life, however, sheds some light on our dependence. Any behavior that resists modification might indicate an addiction, even if it was just to chocolate, new purse, or social media. I am now, more than ever, aware of my coping mechanisms, aware that rather than making life interesting, they mostly patch up an aspect of my existence that requires attention.
If I feel bored, tired, or stressed, no amount of sweets, purses, or Internet surfing will truly fill the void or fulfill the need. Where I would mindlessly resolve to an old habit, this new knowledge stops me in my tracks. I pause, observe, notice the underlying emotion or sensation. If I’m under work-related stress, such as a quickly approaching deadline, or a rush application, I will often have a sudden craving for sweets, or feel the pressing need to check my Facebook page. It’s not a coincidence, I know that now, but I needed mindfulness to realize it fully. Now, instead of walking to the cupboard or opening a new tab in my browser, I stay put and take a deep breath. I skip the coping mechanism and refrain applying a new Band-Aid or replacing an old one. I don’t always catch myself everytime, but I work on it daily.
Even my thought processes are modified. When certain situations repeatedly elicited the kind of stress that requires a Band-Aid, I was forced to reconsider, at least to a certain extent, the choices I had been making in various areas of my life: my career path, other types of commitments, and even some relationships. I realized I had too much on my plate and that I needed to respect my limits. Accepting the fact that I indeed have limits was no small feat. Even if I have long been aware of some of my “rationalizations” and “compensations,” I have never faced life with such clarity, honesty, and courage. I am proud of myself. I am also unsettled. In spite of this, I am still fully committed to continue with my mindfulness practice. The can of worms I am opening can be a handful, but I was carrying them anyway, and they were wearing me down. I choose to deal with them.
Things might feel very raw, but they also feel very real. I can already sense a new level of lightness and freedom on the other side of this demanding exercise.
I invite you to give it a try too. As we move along in our mindfulness practice, I trust that we can all find our own sweet spot, the place where an increased awareness meets a renewed sense of well-being.
For many, this will mean starting slow. When you incorporate mindful meditation into your life, don’t go for the three-day retreat right away or 3 hour meditation. Not only will it be too demanding, it might even backfire. You’ll give up, you’ll lose interest and may become discouraged.
Instead, simply find a quiet place where you can sit for at least five minutes, in silence, every day, and focus on the breath.
You may feel uncomfortable at first, as the feelings you formerly numbed or avoided emerge. Don’t let that deter you. If you embrace the discomfort, you’ll eventually gain the clarity needed to acknowledge and heal old wounds, break unhealthy patterns, and generally step onto the path to a more authentic life. A little discomfort can bring allot of joy.
I recently purchased the book “Mindfulness” by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. Since August is my month of Mindfulness, I figured it was appropriate. I am going through the book and have decided to try the weekly plan for the month of August. August 8-14, I’ll be practicing the below meditations, if anyone would like to join me let me know how it goes for you.
Week 1: Walking up to my Autopilot
Webster’s Dictionary Simple Definition of autopilot: a device that steers a ship, aircraft, or spacecraft in place of a person.
Webster needs to update their dictionary, or I need to better figure out how to use its online dictionary.
The phrase on autopilot is often used figuratively to describe a person who is doing something in a mechanical way without really thinking about it at least this is what I am speaking about in this blog this week.
Our autopilot may be inconvenient at times, but it is not a mistake, even though it may let us down at unexpected times. It allows us to sidestep temporarily one of our shortcomings, that we can only concentrate on one thing at a time. If there is too much information sloshing around in my head, it begins to overflow. I begin to feel stressed, powerless, my mind starts to freeze, I become indecisive, forgetful, exhausted and at my wits end…… Aggggggg….. When we become overwhelmed, our brain is similar to a computer with to many windows open. At first you don’t notice, then gradually as you cross the invisible threshold your computer becomes slower and almost sluggish, until all of a sudden, your computer freezes and then crashes….Agggggg…..I have crashed my “computer” a few times over the years!
Our autopilot allows us to extend our memory and create habits. When we repeat something more than a couple of times, the mind links together all of the actions needed to complete a task in a seamless manner. How cool are our brains! I am so grateful my brain is amazing! When you are fully aware, you maintain greater control of your autopilot and can use it to deploy habits as you need them. Good habits that help you throughout your day and daily tasks.
But, autopilot can be a huge problem if you give more and more control of your life to the autopilot, including much of what you think. Last year I noticed my mind had slowed down, like slllooowwweeedddd down! I had overloaded my autopilot. I felt exhausted, anxious and chronically dissatisfied with my life. I still feel exhausted but not dissatisfied with my life. I decided to step outside the circle instead of opening another window in my autopilot computer. I began to notice when my autopilot was taking over, so thatI could make the choice about what I want my mind to be focusing on. I closed some of the programs that have been left running in the background of my mind. I shut them down! I started to re-learn how to focus my awareness on one thing at a time. And on more positive things.
This week I am going to try a few different types of mindfulness mediations.
The Raisin Meditation (Mark Williams & Danny Penman)
Only need to do this meditation once, but if you are like me I like to try different things a few times and you can do it as many times as you want. You will need to sit for about five to ten minutes, in a place where you are alone and quiet. You need a few raisins, a pen and paper or journal and start reading below:
Holding: take a raisin and hold it in the palm of your hand or between your finger and thumb. Focus on it, approach it as if you have never seen anything like it before. Can you feel the weight of it in your hand? Is it casting a shadow on your palm?
Seeing: Take the time to really to see the raisin. Imagine that you have never seen one before. Look at it with great care and full attention. Let your eyes explore every part of it. Examine the highlights where the light shines, the darker hollows, the folds and ridges.
Touching: Turn the raisin over between your fingers, exploring its texture. Maybe do this with your eyes closed.
Smelling: Now, holding it beneath your nose, see what you notice with each in-breath. Does it have a scent? Let it fill your awareness. And if there is no scent, or very little, notice this as well.
Placing: Slowly take the object to your mouth and notice how your hand and arm know exactly where to put it. And then gently place it in your mouth, noticing what the tongue does to ‘receive’ it. Without chewing, simply explore the sensations of having it on your tongue. Gradually begin to explore the object with your tongue, continuing for 30 seconds or more if you choose.
Chewing: When you’re ready, consciously take a bite into the raisin and notice the effects on the object, and in your mouth. Notice any tastes that it releases. Feel the texture as your teeth bite into it. Continue slowly chewing it, but do not swallow it just yet. Notice what is happening in the mouth.
Swallowing: See if you can detect the first intention to swallow as it arises in your mind, experiencing it with full awareness before you actually swallow. Notice what the tongue does to prepare it for swallowing. See if you can follow the sensations of swallowing the raisin. If you can, consciously sense it as it moves down into your stomach. And if you don’t swallow it all in one go, consciously notice a second or even a third swallow, until it has all gone. Notice what the tongue does after you have swallowed.
After-effects: Finally, spend a few moments registering the aftermath of this eating. Is there an aftertaste; what does the absence of the raisin feel like? Is there an automatic tendency to look for another?
Now take a moment to write down anything that you noticed when you were doing the practice. It is a small fruit with a big message.
Once you see the difference that paying full attention can make to the small things in life, you start to get an inkling of the cost of inattention. Just think of all the pleasures of seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching that are drifting by you unnoticed. You may well be missing vast portions of your daily life. You only ever have a moment to live, this momenr, and yet we all tend to live in the past or in the future.
The Raisin meditation is the beginning of relearning how to bring awareness to everyday activities so that I can see my life as it is, unfolding moment by moment.
Choose one activity from below and see if you can bring “raisin mind” to it daily for the next week.
Brushing your teeth
Walking from one room to another at home or work
Drinking tea, coffee, juice
Talking out the garbage
Loading the washing machine or dryer.
Vacuming
Making your lunch in the morning
I am going to do the drinking coffee. Pay attention to the smell, taste…
Meditation is sooooooo good for your mental and physical health that it should be freely available whenever you need it. Every meditation tradition begins with daily practices that help to focus a scattered mind, my scattered mind.
The most common way to start is by focusing on a single object that is always with you: the movement of the breath in the body. Why the breath? (Mark Williams & Danny Penman)
Firstly, the breath is something that you probably take for granted despite the fact that you cannot live without it. You can live without food for weeks, without water for days, but you cannot survive without the nourishment that the breath provides for more than a few tens of seconds. The breath really is life.
Secondly, there is an important way in which the breath does not need us to make it happen. The breath breathes itself. If it was up to us to remember to breathe, we’d have forgotten long ago. Do you ever catch yourself in deep concentration and realize you are holding your breath? I have. So tuning into the breath can be an important antidote to the natural tendency towards believing that I have to be in control. Attending to the breath reminds me that at the core of my being, something is happening that depends very little on who I am or what I want to achieve. Thirdly, the breath provides a natural, gently moving target to focus on in your meditation; it grounds you in the here and now. You cannot take a breath from five minutes ago, or for five minutes’ time. You can only take a breath for now. Fourthly, the breath can be a sensitive monitor for your feelings. If you can sense more clearly when the breath is short or long, shallow or deep, rough or smooth, you can begin sensing your own internal patterns, and choose whether and how to take skillful action to look after yourself. Finally, the breath provides an anchor for your attention, so that you can see more clearly when your mind has wandered, when it is bored or restless or when you are fearful or sad. During even the shortest meditation on the breath, you may become aware of how things are for you, and, returning to the breath, let go of the tendency to fix things straight away. The breath opens up a different possibility, that of allowing life to live itself for a while, to see what wisdom emerges when you don’t rush in to ‘put things right’. This can be an important antidote to emerging feelings of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness.
Mindfulness Meditation of the Body and Breath (Mark Williams & Danny Penman)
This meditation takes about eight minutes and at least twice each day. You can do it sitting or lying, and feel free to experiment with whichever posture best supports your intention to stay awake for the period of the practice. You can also choose the times to do it. Many people find that the best times are in the morning and in the evening, but it’s entirely up to you when you carry it out.
At first, you might find it difficult to make the time, but meditation ultimately liberates more time than it uses. It will, however, work better if you put in the required time each day. It may not appear to have instant benefits; you have to practise. There will be times when you will miss out on one of the practice sessions; since life can be busy and often frantic, it’s not unusual for this to happen and doesn’t need you to criticise yourself in any way, see if you can make up the time later in the week.
Please try and remember to not get hung up on the specifics, the spirit of the meditation is more important than the detail.
Settling. Settle into a comfortable position, either lying on a mat or a thick rug, or sitting on a chair, cushion or meditation stool. If you use a chair, it is best to use a firm, straight-backed chair (rather than an armchair), so you can sit away from the back of the chair and the spine can be self-supporting. If you sit on a cushion on the floor, it is helpful if your knees can actually touch the floor, although that may not happen at the beginning. Feel free to experiment with the height of cushions or stool until you feel comfortably and firmly supported. If you have a disability that means that sitting in this way or lying on your back is uncomfortable, find a posture that is comfortable for you, and which best allows you to maintain your sense of being fully awake for each moment. If sitting, allow your back to adopt an erect, dignified posture; neither stiff nor tensed up, but comfortable. If sitting on a chair, have your feet flat on the floor with your legs uncrossed. Allow your eyes to close if that feels comfortable. If not, lower your gaze so it falls, unfocused, a few feet in front of you. If lying down, allow your legs to be uncrossed, with your feet falling away from each other, and your arms lying alongside and slightly away from your body, so that the palms can be open to the ceiling, if that feels comfortable. Bringing awareness to the body. Bring your awareness to physical sensations by focusing your attention on the sensations of touch in the body where it is in contact with the floor and with whatever you are sitting or lying on. Spend a few moments exploring these sensations. Now focusing your attention on your feet, starting with the toes, expand the ‘spotlight of attention’ so it takes in the soles of your feet, the heels and the top of your feet, until you are attending to any and all of the physical sensations you become aware of in both feet, moment by moment. Spend a few moments attending to the feet in this way, noticing how sensations arise and dissolve in awareness. If there are no sensations in this region of the body, simply register a blank. This is perfectly fine – you are not trying to make sensations happen – you are simply registering what is already here when you attend. Now, expand your attention to take in the rest of both legs for a few moments, then the torso (from the pelvis and hips up to the shoulders); then the left arm; then the right arm; then the neck and head. Spend a minute or two resting in the awareness of the whole body. See if it is possible to allow your body and its sensations to be just as you find them. Explore how it is to let go of the tendency to want things to be a certain way. Even one brief moment of seeing how things are – without wanting to change anything – can be profoundly nourishing. Focusing on the sensations of breathing. Now bring your awareness to the breath as it moves in and out of the body at the abdomen. Notice the changing patterns of physical sensations in this region of the body as the breath moves in and out. It may help to place your hand here for a few breaths, and feel the abdomen rising and falling. You may notice mild sensations of stretching as the abdomen gently rises with each in-breath, and different sensations as the abdomen falls with each out-breath.As best you can, follow closely with your attention, so you notice the changing physical sensations for the full duration of each in-breath and the full duration of each out-breath, perhaps noticing the slight pauses between one in-breath and the following out-breath, and between one out-breath and the following in-breath. There is no need to try to control your breathing in anyway at all – simply let the breath breathe itself.
Dealing skillfully with mind-wandering. Sooner or later your attention will wander away from the breath. You may find thoughts, images, plans or day-dreams coming up. Such mind-wandering is not a mistake. It is simply what minds do. When you notice that your awareness is no longer on the breath, you might congratulate yourself. You have already ‘woken up’ enough to know it, and are once more aware of your experience in this moment. Simply acknowledge where the mind had wandered to. Then gently escort your attention back to the sensations in your abdomen. The mind will likely wander over and over again, so each time, remember that the aim is simply to note where the mind has been, then gently escort your attention back to the breath. This can be very difficult, as you may find it frustrating that the mind seems so disobedient! Such frustration can create a lot of extra noise in the mind. So, no matter how many times your mind wanders, allow yourself on each occasion (without limit) to cultivate compassion for your mind as you bring it back to where you had intended it to be. See if it is possible to view the repeated wanderings of the mind as opportunities to nurture greater patience within yourself. In time, you may discover that this quality of kindliness towards the wandering mind brings a sense of compassion towards other aspects of your experience – that the wandering mind has been a great ally in your practice, and not the enemy you supposed it to be.
Continue with the practice for around eight minutes, or longer if you wish, perhaps reminding yourself from time to time that the intention is simply to be aware of your experience in each moment. As best you can, use the sensations in your body and breath as anchors to gently reconnect with the here and now each time that you notice that your mind has wandered and is no longer in touch with where you had intended it to be.
Our butterfly brains
Our minds tend to flit and flutter from thought to thought, so it can be very difficult to maintain concentration. This simple realization is a crucial step along the road to cultivating mindful awareness. My mind flutters all over the place and changes direction almost instaniously.
When you practice meditation, and your mind wanders, be kind to yourself. You will begin to see your thoughts as a stream in action. Like any stream, you will start to see all its bubblings, gurglings and splashes. For a brief moment, all of your thoughts, feelings and memories that flow incessantly across your mind will become apparent. They may seem random. It is almost as if your mind is digging around in a back room, offering up possibilities to gauge if your conscious awareness finds them useful or interesting in some way. This is what your mind does it offers possibilities. Be aware it is your choice and not your minds choice on whether to accept these thoughts or not.
Let’s release some habits:
This is designed to help you start the process of loosening up your habits by adding a little randomness to your life. Oooooo sounds like fun.
Changing chairs:(Mark Williams & Danny Penman)
This week notice which chairs you normally sit on at home and at work. Make a deliberate choice to try another chair, or alter the position of the chair you use. We are creatures of habit, and we take comfort from such sameness. There is nothing wrong with this at all, but it can feed a sense of “taking things for granted” that allows the autopilot to thrive. You can easily stop noticing the sights, sounds, smells of everything around you, and even the feel of the chair supporting you can become overfamiliar. Notice how your perspective can change just by changing chairs.
Just reading this chapter has made me aware of how much time I spend on autopilot and how much of my life I am missing. Can’t wait to start these exercises on Monday and break in my new journal.
Each day as I look for ways to pay attention and be more mindful, I think of my brain and how I use it. Should I use my brain in unfamiliar ways that would enhance my experience in the present moment and my awareness of myself, sure, why not?
Truth is, there is no known cure for dementia, or any evidence that exercising the brain in different ways can delay the onset of Alzheimer’s. But, brain exercise classes still offer useful skills to young, old and older people and are seen helpful in improving the overall health and quality of life for participants.
“Your brain doesn’t know how old it is.” – Paul Nussbaum
Finding new ways to stimulate and challenge yourself every day is a good idea, plain and simple. This can include lots of ordinary activities like doing mental calculations rather than reaching for a calculator or taking a new driving route or eating with the opposite hand. New learning is helpful, especially interacting rather than passively listening. One good exercise is learning to be a photographer or flying drones can help with hand-eye coordination, problem solving, muscle control and agility. Brain exercises should rely on novelty and complexity, including board games that are played with others. All kinds of concentrated activities, like learning a foreign language, how to play a musical instrument, playing Sudoku or crossword puzzles in the morning paper, can be fulfilling for people. But along with exercising and good nutrition, a brain that is fully engaged socially, mentally and spiritually is more resilient.
“Every time you learn something new, the brain changes, and the most lasting physical changes are from psychical exercise.” – Wendy Suzuki
Playing games with your mind? It’s exactly what experts believe you should do to stay sharp, no matter how old you are. Experts say our brain’s exact storage space for memories is hard to calculate. The size of an average person’s memory can vary from person to person, and memories with more details can take up more space, similar to a computer. Three ways our brains store memories: encoding, storage and retrieval of information.
Improve Your Memory Tips:
Get Some Sleep! At least 7 to 8 hours a night can also help improve your memory.
Involve Other Senses In Your Routine. Start your day by stimulating your senses when you get dressed. Try dressing with your eyes closed or choose outfits based on texture and not how they look. Engaging unused senses for day-to-day routines can improve your memory and stimulate your mind.
Wake Up To A New Smell. You may already be used to waking up to the smell of coffee or scrambled eggs on the weekend but, try stimulating your senses by leaving cooked vanilla beans by your bed or in your kitchen overnight. This can enhance your sense of smell the next day. Mmmmmm or a freshly picked flower from your garden.
Meditate. Sit back and relax. Meditation can improve your memory and help your mind focus.
Turn Your Photos Upside Down. If you find yourself losing focus or easily distracted during your work day try engaging your brain and attention levels by turning pictures upside down on your desk at work. The instant your pictures are upside down, you brain will automatically go into “alert mode” and help you pick up other small details during your day.
Use Your Other Hand. When you’re brushing your teeth or brushing your hair in the morning, try switching hands or using the ‘other hand’ to help stimulate your brain and senses. People don’t expect me to be pretty tomorrow, I am going to brush my teeth with my left hand and my hair…hopefully it is not a pony tail day!
Go To A Beautiful Environment. We all have memories of our favourite places in nature. Maybe it’s your childhood backyard or vacation to a sandy beach. These memories stay with us in rich detail and travelling to these places or finding new places that help create memories of equal depth can also help improve your memory and help keep you paying attention and being mindful of yourself and of nature.
Talk To Yourself. This has never been a problem for me, and NO, I don’t answer myself! Thinking out loud can do more good than harm.
Meditation is not a religion. Mindfulness is simply a method if mental training. Religious people do meditated but so do atheists and agnostics.
You don’t have to sit on the floor with your legs crossed.
Mindfulness practice does not take a lot of time, but patience and persistence is a requirement.
Meditation is not complicated. Nor is it about “success” or “failure”. Even when meditation is difficulf, you are learning something.
It will not deaden your mind or prevent you from striving toward important career or lifestyle goals. Meditation helps you cultivate a deep and compassionate awareness thay allows you to access your goals.
Mindfulness meditation teaches you to recognize memories and damaging thoughts as they arise. It reminds you that they are memories and the past and not real. They are not you. You can learn to observe negative thoughts as they arise, let them stay a while and then simply watch them evaporate before your eyes. And when this occurs, an extraordinary thing can happen, a profound sense of happiness and peace fills the void.
Mindfulness meditation does this by harnessing an alternative way in which our minds can relate to the world. Most of us know only the analytical side of the mind, the process of thinking, judging, planning and trawling through past memories while searching for solutions. But the mind is also aware. We do not just think about things, we are also aware that we are thinking.
Meditation creates greater mental clarity, seeing things with a pure open-heart and awareness. It is place from which we can witness our own thoughts and feelings as soon as they happen and takes us off of the trigger that compels us to react.
Mindfulness meditation allows us to become more patient and compassionate with ourselves.
Go Slowly. When most people try mindfulness meditating, they quit because they don’t know what it is they’re trying to accomplish, or even how to start. But what if it’s as simple as relaxing? What if you meditated because it helps you organize your thoughts, mitigate negative emotions, and maintain some peace in your mind? Isn’t that worth it?
Some tips for mindfulness meditation:
Sit in a quiet room, set your environment to your comfort.
Sit still.
Take deep breaths, in your nose, out your mouth.
Try to think of nothing and just be. Be the person in the room. Be you.
While you attempt to do this random thoughts will pop up: What am I going to make for dinner? When will that email come in? Ice cream sounds good right about now. And so on. Simply observe them and let them pass.
Focus on what you want for the day. Sure, there will be days you are completely down on yourself, but the point is to catch yourself in the act, refuse to give into negativity, and focus on the small, positive steps that lead to a positive outcome.
Do this for 10 minutes a day if you can. If you can do more, then do it. Practice often. All you need to do is breathe.
By developing the habit of meditation, and exercising mindful actions and words, you will decrease the stress and anger in your life and harness your personal power to create and spark positive outcomes.
I’ve decided to get more mindful with my household tasks; to actually schedule them, instead of squeezing them between things I want or need to do. Mindfully completing a simple household task can be like skipping a pebble on a pond, sending ripples of Zen into your day.
As I am interested in forming a mindfulness practice in my home, I am going to follow the following five tasks for the month of August:
Let your bed set the tone for the day.
Making the bed is something I have never like doing my whole life, I don’t see the point as I am just going to jump back into my bed at night and mess it up again. I know it can be tempting to leave the sheets and blankets crumpled to jump into the day a few moments sooner, as I have been doing it for years, however I have read that deliberately making your bed in the morning sets the pace for the day. It says you’ll take your time transitioning from one activity to the next without scrambling or rushing just to get things done. Because really, when you’re moving that fast, how much of your day do you fully experience and enjoy? So I have decided to start being more mindful this month and will start a new habit of making my bed!
Wash the dishes slowly.
Doing dishes is not my thing either and look at all the mindfulness I am missing out on! First the bed making and now doing dishes, no wonder I am stressed! I have read, that feeling the warm water on your hands and fingers, letting yourself enjoy the experience of making something dirty clean again and needing to stop thinking about finishing or what you’ll do when you are finished and focusing solely on the doing is being mindful.
“To my mind, the idea that doing dishes is unpleasant can occur only when you aren’t doing them…I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands. I know that if I hurry in order to eat dessert sooner, the time of washing dishes will be unpleasant and not worth living. That would be a pity, for each minute, each second of life is a miracle.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Use cleaning as an exercise in acceptance.
How often in life do we fight ourselves on things we don’t want to do? ALWAYS! I procrastinate, I complain, I outsource and for the most part, I’d benefit from accepting that I have to do things I don’t like on occasion, instead of using energy to avoid them. Cleaning the toilet is right up there with a broken ankle on my fun list, but it won’t clean itself. In accepting this and then doing it when it needs to be done and no later I prepare myself to carry this same acceptance outside my house. To stop judging things as good and bad to soften the nagging inner monologue that keeps me from the present, and keeps chatting in my head.
Let your senses take over in the shower.
You’ve probably experienced a meditative shower at least a few times in your life. If you haven’t, I highly recommend you try! It’s easy to let go of all other thoughts when you’re standing under a stream of water and have set the perfect temperature for you.
Take this time to tune into your senses. Choose an amazing soap you love so that the scent is intoxicating. Enjoy the sensation of the water on your skin and feel it drip down your shoulders, back, butt, calves, and heels. My favorite part is when the water first hits my head, it reminds me of getting my hair washed at the salon, ohhhhh do I love having my hair washed in a salon, it is a perfect massage as the stylist kneads my head beneath the firm water pressure. A little piece of heaven! A meditative morning ritual takes you into the day with a clear, focused mind.
Turn a boring activity into the noticing game.
“The noticing game” is not a technical term, it is people-watching and you identify interesting items of clothing, you pay attention to things you hear, and you notice the different smells around you. This allows you to sink into the present moment instead of searching for ways to avoid it. You can do the same thing when vacuuming, dusting, or ironing. Notice things about your furniture you may not have seen before, it’s texture, color, or shape. Notice patterns on your clothes and shoes. When you focus on being in your environment, it’s easier to appreciate the moment for what it is instead of wishing you were somewhere else.
I don’t know about you, but these are skills I’ve yet to master. I am working on them this month, one shower, one dish, one bed at a time. And in doing so, I am mindful and happy.
being Vanessa 
