Forgive, Heal and Grow

Today I am forgiving, healing and growing. This is the perfect formula for me. I never truly move on until first I forgive that person and forgive myself…….next I heal…sometimes I yell, cry, walk in nature, journal, talk with family and friends, watch a funny movie and laugh..find your healing processes…..next is i grow….I learn from the hurt, anger and pain and become a better person….

Anger….and pain…

Anger and pain..they stop this process of forgiving, healing and growing right in its tracks…it is okay to be angry…yell it out..stomp your feet, sometimes being angry is part of the healing process…..just don’t live there..

I find love always helps, the love and support of family and friends….is priceless…thank you for all the amazing and kind words I received yesterday from family and friends…love you all and I feel blessed..

When I was younger I always thought I had to do this alone..I was embarrassed and angry…

and I use to live there…keeper of lies..noone is alone, everyone is loved….I am no longer that person…I am Vanessa….I am here for anyone…..

That first time I forgave…and then I did it again…again and again..you need to forgive, heal and grow from each hurt you feel….or at least I do…sometimes I talk it out with friends and family, sometimes I write that person a letter and tell them how I feel and how it hurt me…other times I just realize that everyone is fighting their own hurts and I just forgive, heal and grow….

Wow…I have grown so much over the years and I feel everyday like I become a better me….

Happy Monday and have an amazing day.

Love Vanessa

My Mom

Today I want to talk about my mom, my mom when I was little…i was her pride and joy…she was the best mom ever…..I know where I get my decorating during holidays from and my kindness to others. She was always smiling….it was contagious….my sister doesn’t know this mom….she never had the chance to met her…she was beautiful inside and out….

My mother drank since before I can remember. ….but when my dad left …..I was 9 or 10 years old…I became an adult and the adult in my family…..we moved allot and I missed allot of school…many, many, many bad years for me…

As a child to an alcoholic, you lose all your self esteem…..you lose hope in humanity……you become angry….and you become the secret keeper of all lies…

It took me a while to realize that i had to forgive to move on……I have forgiven my dad for his past addictions many many years ago….my mother it took me a little longer to forgive…but I have….I love my mom and forgive her for her past addictions…parents are people doing the best they know how….and I have stopped blaming my parents for my stupid or poor decisions. ..

This is a painful subject for me and I lived this story for many years…

I haven’t spoken to my mother since October 2015….my last visit. That visit brought back way to many painful past memories and abuse….I decided than that was enough of my life I have allowed her to take…and I am now working on forgiving her for that visit but I am not there yet

I love my mom and dad…and always will…and no matter what happened I love myself and love who I am and wouldn’t change a thing.

Love Vanessa

No Limit

I was inspired today by a “no limit” video on facebook. No limit to kindness towards humanity and nature…..what a beautiful thing….

In the past I have prepared blessed bags for the homeless……

And i have handed them out…….some people have restrictions on giving money to homeless people and so this may be an alternative for them……I don’t have such restrictions…I hand out these bags but, I also give money too…it’s not my place to judge people and if I am giving money it’s not my business what they spend it on..i can’t imagine being homeless…so i chose not to judge and just be kind…I give to give with no restrictions…what I get from giving is more valuable than the money I give…

There are so many little things you can do each day to change the life of someone else….do these acts…each day…kindness is kindness there is no size or restrictions on it and …

Help people even when they don’t ask….be kind to people for no reason…love people who don’t deserve love…it’s transforming…

Love this idea and I think I’ll do it with Courtnie..

Sometimes us as women say awful things about other women…I am no exception to this but I am working on turning of this facet and try to build up women…

It’s a beautiful thing when you complement another…such an easy act of kindness and such a transforming thing for that women…let’s build each other up

Today there are no limits….

Go be limitless…

Love Vanessa

Count Your Blessings

Today I am going to try and count my blessings…..

Yesterday all I did was count my problems, count my losses, count my complaints….I did it again I annoyed myself with my miserable monster. ..my work is toxic,  move on..I am blessed..

It’s amazing when you start counting your blessing what happens…

Blessings, my health, my family, my friends, my knowledge….

Blessings, money in the bank, Shan and Courtnie, job, amazing boss, live in Canada, woke up this morning. …

I need to stop complaining and counting my problems…I am losing myself and not being Vanessa. I am allow myself to not feel blessed and happy…

Everyone have a blessed day. ….

Love Vanessa

FRIENDSHIPS

This I am truly blessed with…I have amazing friends in my life..all interesting and amazing in their own ways and making me blessed…

When we start to view the world as a friendly place that nurtures and supports us, the universe opens up to us and the endless possibilities are endless. Be open to making new friends today.

From the very moment I meet a person I know whether we will be friends or not..not sure if I’ll share my cookies thou….:)

Friends and friendships have so many facets…like you can have childhood friends…friends that no matter how much time passes it seems like only yesterday. …friends you can talk with and lose time periods lol…Work friends..

The only people I need in my life are ones that need me in theirs. ….even when I have nothing to offer them but myself.

This is so true…people come in and out of our lives and leave us with such wonderful experiences and memories…only allow people in your life that love you..you will receive a million little things from them….allow the rest to pass you bye.

Family are like branches on a tree, we grow in different directions but our roots remain the same.

“There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t met yet”. – W.B. Yeats

There are people in this life who will take advantage of you and tell you who they think you are.  It’s up to you what you do with that information.  The moment you let people make decisions on your behalf you have given up your dignity.  But you can always get it back as long as you remember to connect with your higher power.  This people are not your friends…friends, never take advantage of you..Don’t let anyone take advantage or manipulate you. Remind yourself that you’re entitled to the life and love you deserve.

It’s not our place to criticize someone else’s journey,  nor is it anyone else’s place to criticize my own. Don’t judge others. Think about how you’d want to be treated.

Happy Wednesday…feeling blessed today..

Love Vanessa

Stop COMPLAINING

Today I have decided to stop complaining….well I may not stop altogether…but I am going to try..

I rarely start the complaining but I sure do participate in it. . . . . Next time I need to say to myself ” that’s your opinion and not mine ” and not become part of it…

I always find like i get trapped in the complaining cycle and then i notice i have complained the whole day…i even annoy myself with the complaining…

Today I am going to…well after I write this blog that is….

Here are some tips i am going to try to stop complaining and ditch the negative thoughts to focus on finding solutions:

1. Change the way you think.
This is definitely easier said than done. Our brains tend to gravitate toward the negative. We are bothered first by the thorns in the rose bush instead of being marveled by the sight of the beautiful roses. This requires a new practice of being mindful. When you find yourself thinking or saying a negative comment about something or someone, stop and force yourself to say something positive instead. Enlist the help of a cheerful friend to stop you when you complain and help you to see the positive in the situation.

2. Allow yourself to vent every once in a while.
Constantly ignoring your negative thoughts could add up. If you are really going through a rough time, don’t be afraid to share your feelings with a close friend or family member or see a therapist. Don’t feel ashamed if you need to talk through negative feelings.

3. Practice yoga.
Yoga is a great way to exercise, relax, and learn to be mindful. Yoga focuses on breathing, movement, and meditation and helps you to control your mind and body. Our minds often race in a million directions. Yoga can help you calm your racing thoughts and be more positive with your intentions.

4. Train yourself to be less judgmental.
We often complain about others because we think they are not up to our standards. Once you stop judging people without knowing their stories, you will most likely complain less about the things people do.

5. Make a list of things you’re grateful for.
Stopping for a minute and think of all the great things and amazing people in your life…this will probably put any silly complaints you had to rest.

6. Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Next time you’re with your friends, family, or co-workers and engaged in a complaint fest, speak up or quiet down. Depending on the crowd, either speak up to stop the complaining and change the subject to something sunnier or simply be quiet and don’t complain yourself.

7. Accept responsibility.
If something is bothering you, either fix it or accept that nothing can be done right now, so why complain? Complaining is a passive activity. Change that complaining into action to solve the problem or simple accept it and give your mind something else to focus on.

8. Find what makes you happy.
Sometimes this list can be easy, full of hobbies you enjoy. Sometimes it requires deeper introspection. Are you constantly complaining about your job? Maybe it is time to make the hard decision to move on to another job or career. Uncover what your biggest complaints are about and see if you can change the situation to make you happy.

9. Take care of yourself.
Stress and a busy lifestyle can often take over our lives and break down anyone’s positive spirit. Take time out from your life for just you. Make sure you get to see that movie you were dying to watch, take a hot bath, head to your exercise class, get a manicure, play sports, or do whatever relaxes and energizes you. It could just put you in a new frame of mind.

10. Simply ask yourself when you open your mouth: Would you rather complain or be happy?
Choose happiness, focusing on the positive, and being kind always! It is your choice and no one else’s.

I choose to be happy…Love Vanessa

Work

Always envied those people that..

Always wondered what that was like….to ❤ your job…

I have a great boss and I don’t mind the work…..then why dont I ❤ my job… it is the stress of working 2 busy peoples job…

And my working environment…

everyone is working to

People are so awful and miserable human beings….it’s sad… my working environment is toxic…

so many good people have left over the last year and they keep going…makes me sad and happy all in one… there are still some good people there…but they will leave too….

Today, I am going 2 work and go home

and try and enjoy life…

Try and love my job and ignore the toxic..

Wish me luck…love Vanessa

Women

Affirmation for women

I claim my feminine power now.

I am discovering how wonderful I am. I see within myself a magnificent being. I am wise and beautiful.

I love what I see in me. I choose to love and enjoy myself.  I am in charge of my life. I expand my capabilities. I am free to be all that I can be. I have a great life. My life is filled with love. 

The love in my life begins with me. I have dominion over my life. I am a powerful women. I am worthy of love and respect. I am subject to no one;  I am free. I am willing to learn new ways of living. I stand on my own two feet.

I accept and use my own power. I am at peace with being or being in a relationship. I rejuice and enjoy where I am.

I love and enjoy myself.  I love, support, and enjoy the women in my life. I am deeply fulfilled by life. I explore all the many avenues of love. I love being a woman.  I love being alive at this point in time and space. I fill my life with love. I accept my gift of this alone time.

I feel totally complete and whole.  I give myself what I need. It is safe for me to grow. I am safe, and all is well in my world.

Us women are amazing each and everyone of us is amazing.

Beautiful day,
Love Vanessa

STRESS….

No matter how much I try not to be stressed at work….I am…and its not cause I have a bad boss…I have a fantastic boss!! It is the amount of work I do, my work ethics and my working arrangements that STRESS ME OUT…

What is stress??

Stress is what you experience internally in response to new or difficult situations. It’s impossible to avoid stress entirely. I can attested to that!!

But you can build up your resistance to the harmful effects of stress…

Things the “experts” say will help with stress:

1. Learn the power of “NO”. Be realistic about your limits and know when to say no. Have these “experts” ever worked in a law firm??? Just saying…

2. Spend time in nature. Unplugging from technology and spending time outdoors–even if only for a few times or minutes. This is a great one and I do this allot in spring,summer and fall..but this being Canada and winter is usually 6 months of the year…I need 2 look at another way of reducing my stress..

3. Decompress daily. Make decompression a priority each day. This can be meditation, going for a walk…..I walk home every night and decompress from the stress of the day…this alleviates all of my stress from the day..would like to meditate but just can’t seem 2 find the right one…

4. Move your body. Make an effort to get out there and move your body at least a few times a week. Exercise.

5. Get enough sleep. This is important. A full nights sleep is important. I use to sleep like a rock but no so much anymore..love sleep

6. Make “fun” a priority. Do whatever makes you smile as much as possible.

This is another “expert” list to de-stress:

I don’t always dance it out…but I do sing…and I find this helps

Don’t let the day pass you by —do something meaningful for yourself or someone else.

“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before June. My goodness how the time has flew.  How did it get so late so soon?” –Dr. Seuss

Sometimes burning bridges isn’t a bad thing. It prevents you from going back to a place you should never have been to begin with.

Stress is not all bad all the time….

I belive the real reason why we can’t decompress is:

Have a decompressed day 🙂
Love Vanessa

Anger Monster

“Please don’t expect me to always be good, kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold, thoughtless and hard to understand.” – Sylvia Plath

For many many years,  I was an angry person like anger above….. I didn’t even know….

I use to always be angry and got into allot of fights…..

Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then reforce on where you are headed. I lived in that anger for years until it built into recentment and unhappiness…I always cry it out when I am angry…next best thing is go 2 sleep….I have struggled with anger for a long long while…

Anger often signals that you aren’t getting your needs met, or that you’re overextended. I began to realize this and began a journey of dealing with my anger and stopped living in it. Anger and resentment are two of the most toxic emotions we can feel.

There are always times when people infuriate us or hurt our feelings but we don’t confront it. Instead we just let these negative feelings grow wild within us. Before we know it, they have taken us like vines crawling over every cell and organ in our body.

When someone does something that upsets you, don’t hold a grudge; confront them and then do your best to put it behind you.  When you refuse to take things personally, you avoid many upsets in your life. Your feelings of anger, jealousy –and even your sadness –will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally. So easily said…put very difficult to do…I began a journal and this helps…plus I realized I only have control over me…

“Change your thoughts, change your life.” – Lao Tzu

Your life is what you make of it. Be mindful of the tone of your thoughts.

Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up and allow the positive committee to speak.

Choosing to smile even when you are having a bad day doesn’t mean you’re being fake. It means you’re choosing to focus on all the reasons you have to be thankful instead of the reasons you have to be angry. Everyone is entitled to have their bad days — don’t take it personally it’ll pass.

We should never let someone else’s problems bring us down in the first place.

If you’re having a bad day, unplug and relax. Take some time for yourself.

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. ” – Buddha

It’s okay 2 be angry just don’t live in the angry world…I choose to smile…maybe have a couple meltdowns and move on….

Love Vanessa